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May 22Liked by Martha Bayne

I really relate to the frustrating futility of wondering why movement X or routine behavior Y have become tougher because of the cancer or just age… But your enrollment in the dance performance is admirable (definitely got a “hell yeah”). Knee jerk relegation to spectator status is a personal hurdle that I definitely could work on.

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I've sort of given up wondering "why"? Whether it's menopause or cancer drugs, neither one of them is going away so I'm trying to focus on how to manage it instead. Jump that hurdle! But/and/also -- it's ok to spectate. I don't think anyone should feel shame about being in the audience; it's a different fun and interesting challenge to try and figure out how to be an engaged spectator rather than a passive consumer.

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As I grapple with adjusting mobility issues I often dream of happily running down the stairs…that rhythmic descent in which you’re almost skipping. When I wake up, for a moment I think I can do it again…

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Limitations -- they're the worst. I feel you.

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