51 Comments

Ms. Martha,

I had a similar moved journey through Chicago and similar move out, although the timelines and reasons differ a tid. The "hit to [the] professional identity" thing is very real. Additionally Chicago runs on a different speed and energy than the lands North. The goodly news is that speed is closer to the speed of your husband, so you should already be used to it. I have had a hard time of it, but I am in more of a suburb. If you have to drive, we are at a good stopping point on the way.

Here is my unsolicited advice.

Purchase the following items:

A Fire Extinguisher,

Two Flashlights that plug into the wall so they are always charged.

The Ugliest lamp you have ever seen*

A set of Allen wrenches that are not connected together.

A good scraper

A multitool with pliers

a socket set

A toilet plunger with a T shaped handle.

A good rubber bucket.

A multi head screwdriver

A caulking gun

Got those? Great these belong to the two of you, not Paul. Now you can fix almost everything in your house that you have business fixing. Also the internet.

Love chuck and his late father who would give advice like this.

*This fixes nothing, but you will not feel bad when it breaks.

Expand full comment
author

All sound advice -- and not covered in the marriage advice manual! Thanks Chuck. And, yes, I'm learning to operate at that slower speed and most of the time I even like it.

Expand full comment

Loved reading this!! Happy for your new home, and appreciative of how your writing has given me an opportunity to reflect on “home.”

Expand full comment
author

Thank youuuuuuuu

Expand full comment

I just left San Francisco after living there my whole adult life. Saying goodbye was a heartbreak. Allow for mourning -- and for joy in new things!

Expand full comment
author

It’s all connected right? Wishing you well wherever you land.

Expand full comment
Jun 22Liked by Martha Bayne

Gorgeously written piece, Martha. The Metra route to Waukegan is pretty convenient. Good luck in the new home!

Expand full comment
author

It’s true! Thanks Jean.

Expand full comment
Jun 22Liked by Martha Bayne

Congratulations on homeownership….. and as always it seems to me, you write something I find poignant…

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Burgi! Miss you all — but now I have a guest room!

Expand full comment

I'm excited for you and P! Congrats on home ownership. Nothing ever ends up being that far away, is what I learned the first time I moved, and again when I moved back. Sending good vibes and I hope I get to try this Waukegan pizza people talk about with y'all sometime.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you so much! C'mon up and go to the Quonset with us anytime :)

Expand full comment

feel duty bound to mention that eiren, once in trouble, is publishing two books in the next 8 months :)

Expand full comment
author

It's true! Community care isn't just a warm fuzzy vagary -- it helps people THRIVE.

Expand full comment
Jun 23Liked by Martha Bayne

Good luck, Martha. Health and happiness in your new home.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Dave!

Expand full comment
Jun 23Liked by Martha Bayne

Just beautiful! Wishing you much happiness in your lovely new home and all kinds of wonderful adventures and discoveries.

Expand full comment
author

Thank you Rachel — it’s always so nice to hear from you.

Expand full comment

Congrats on the new home, Martha. All the best for you in Waukegan. 💕

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Sari!

Expand full comment
Jun 23Liked by Martha Bayne

So many big changes afoot! Congrats on finding your sweet house; I wish you ease on your moving and settling-in process! The love you hold for Chicago and your community there has always shone through in your writing…it’s the kind of community that will sustain you as you find your footing in your new environs. So excited for you!

Expand full comment
author

Aw, thank you Kate. I really hope I get to see you again someday ;)

Expand full comment
founding

I'm so glad you signed on your house. Good luck with the move, and may you have many years of happiness in your new home.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much!

Expand full comment
Jun 22Liked by Martha Bayne

Congratulations Martha. I wish you all the best in your new home.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Charlie! I hope all is well in your world

Expand full comment

Congratulations, Martha! You will make magic wherever you go, I am sure of this.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks Amy!

Expand full comment

congrats!! This piece really made me miss Chicago so much, I hope you’re able to build community in Waukegan!

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! Planning on it :)

Expand full comment

What a beautiful tribute, Martha.🙏🏻 so happy for you — it’s evidence of a life well-lived to have such rich memories to cherish, and new ones to create.❤️

Expand full comment
author

Thank you! Still swinging between excitement and fear of the unknown but it’s settling down a bit 🤗

Expand full comment