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Cameron Steele's avatar

A recent dream that seems relevant: My dream was so weird!

I dreamt that I was arguing with the billing office at the hospital where I teach, because they were slow and inefficient to pay me the next $3,000 for my writing workshop (true story ha). But because I was arguing with them, I was forced to get ready for a small breast surgery. The woman who is the chair for the Center of Digital Research and Archives at the University of Nebraska was performing the surgery. But right before it began, she told me she was going to have to do a “full explant surgery” to remove my implants without anesthesia because that’s what the State mandated after all the trouble I caused. I got up from the operating table, said “No way,” and yanked out the catheter which was also somehow a breathing tube.

In doing this, I turned the world into gray ash and stone, filled with violence and guns and men flaying people alive. My family and I all knew we had to try to find somewhere to go, so we booked plane flights to the other side of the world “which wasn’t much better but was better than this” according to the dream. We’re all in line at the airport, my parents and loved ones all get on the plane but some bad person had stolen my ID so I’m not allowed on. We decide they should leave while Lois, the TSA attendant (who in real life is the sweetest secretary at the Sentara cancer center where I get chemo) says she’ll remain behind with me and help me make a new ID. She goes to the photocopier store across the street as bombs start going off. I hide all my colorful clothes underneath a conveyer belt at the airport and change into black dress pants, a black blazer, a black fedora, red tassel socks and black tap shoes.

I start dancing in the streets amidst the bombs, waiting for Lois to finish with my fake ID or waiting for the world to end, whichever comes first.

I dance a lot in my dreams. In real life, we have Friday night dance parties at home with my five year old.

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lucie andre's avatar

Hi Martha, I am way into your writing and your way of being in the world. I've recently written a book, Never Ready, which will be available June 20. I worked at the Paul Taylor Dance Company when we lost two of our nine men to AIDS. I waited decades to write about 'working at a circus during a plague;' I just wasn't ready.

Then as I finished the first draft, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. I would love to talk to you about all of it and share an advanced reader copy. Please visit NeverReady.net and reach me through the contact for a secure link, or just to talk about your writing, female creativity, the beauty of dysfunctional dance families, or anything else on your mind.

Many thanks; stay well,

Lucie André

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