Lots going on right now! Back and forth to the doctor, meet with the surgeon, meet with the plastic surgeon, get another MRI, get more imaging … it’s exhausting but, in general, the news has been good so no complaints over here save for this one: Truly, medical schools, can you teach your students how not to walk into a room with a semi-naked woman lying on a table and greet her with, “Mrs. Bayne?” It is well past time for that.
Speaking of time: I have had little of it this week, what with all the running around to various medical facilities. And I’m heading out of town for work tomorrow for a few days. So in lieu of a pensive essay on the nature of time, or identity, or illness, or how I still feel like I’m doing this all wrong, please enjoy this 100% cancer free content, in the form of an interview I conducted with fellow aerial circus enthusiast Barbara Hague, 73, published yesterday at the excellent Oldster Magazine.
“I shouldn't compare myself, but everybody compares themselves, even though they say they don't. But it is hard, and I think, "Hey, she could do that. Why can't I do that? I try so hard and I can't do that." That is a mental thing that I work on. I know intellectually that I shouldn't be doing that, but emotionally it’s something else. I think it's good for my development. I'm learning to be more patient with myself—I mean, I don't wanna be too patient with myself. I want to get out there and work—but getting up into certain positions, or learning lyra or static trapeze, sometimes tricks just don't work for me.”
Oldster is a magazine not about getting, or being “old,” but about the experience of being a human moving and changing through time and, inevitably, getting older as one does so. I like it a lot. I wrote another essay for them in February, before all this cancer nonsense, about getting scammed, falling in love, and getting a full-time job.
Coming on Monday: THE LAST CHEMO. The rebound from round #5 was rough, and I’m not really looking forward to anything about #6 except for the fact that I never (with a giant asterix) have to do it again.
More soon, xoxoxo
Mile 22 of chemo! You got this!
YES!!!!! To the last chemo!
And to getting all of those endless other things planned. Go. You.
As someone who does occasionally have the opportunity to gently nudge newer docs, I do have a question about form of address. I think that using the more formal/honorific is suggested to help show respect in a situation of a pretty substantial power imbalance. But clearly not the right choice for everyone. In the hospital, the practice is to ask someone their preferred form of address and write that on the board in their room so that (in theory) everyone uses that. But in an exam or consultation room, I do not know. For you, would it be better to ask?
OK, selfish interaction completed; now returning to sending good vibes -- which I am currently doing from Washington Island. I will take some extra deep breaths for you on Monday, and hope that rebound is shockingly light, and that that will indeed be the last one.